Tuesday, December 21, 2010


This is one of my very favorite pieces...I hold this so close to my heart and wanted to share it with y'all...enjoy.


Because of you, in gardens of blossoming
Flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer
Remember your hands; how did your lips
Feel on mine?

Because of you, I love the white statues
Drowsing in the parks, the white statues that
Have neither voice nor sight.

I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice;
I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to
My vague memory of you. I live with pain
That is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
Make to me an irreperable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing
Vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to
Glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of
Summer pain me; because of you, I again
Seek out the signs that precipitate desires:
Shooting stars, falling objects."
- Pablo Neruda

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The little boy and the rattlesnake...You knew what I was when you picked me up...

This is another traditional Cherokee legend

The little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.

They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

Thursday, December 16, 2010


looking in the mirror
noticing your reflection
longing for you
wanting to see you

I learned it all from you
I learned about you
about me
I learned

I learned what we could've been
what we should've been
what we would have been
had we not been

but no more could haves or should haves
we only have not
We are unbroken and perfection still exists
it simply has transformed

Friday, December 3, 2010

Growing Pains

Its so nice to get someone elses perspective...especially when your emotions are so caught up in something.

When my oldest child was about 4, she started having these horrible pains. Scared the crap out of me!! She would wake in the middle of the night, screaming in agony. Her legs would ache so bad, she could only weep. And I wept. And feared for my child. I called her doctor up in complete panic after about a week of this. They heard the panic in my voice, and said 'calm down Ms., bring her in today' and I did.

I rushed in that day to beg this woman to help my child...(Moms might over react when it comes to their kids, we're lioness' in that way) She did all these tests then came back to me and said 'it's growing pains...massage her legs and it will pass'.
WHAT!?! Wait, what?...
Growing pains...

You see, growth hurts! It actually, physically hurts! Nothing was wrong with my child, she wasn't diseased or harmed. She was developing. And stretching your mind, your body, your being...can be painful. Even when you 'think' you're already grown...you got more room to improve. And guess what? That shit might hurt, it does hurt, I'm telling that from experience. But its worth it! To be better, to live, love, grow.

The truth in actually caring about someone (kids, family, friends, spouse) is loving them in a way that they can be free. Loving them in a way that their needs are being met. Nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean losing yourself. Its just growth. If you are incapable of loving someone in a way they can flourish, you've lost your own ability to expand.  Love is infinite.  However, once you stop sharing it, it ceases.

Anyway...that was my release, my confession, my relief. Loving someone means letting them grow. Loving yourself means dealing with the possibility of pain!